AP

On Monday, First Son-in-Law and perfect big boy Jared Kushner gave his first public remarks as a member of President Donald Trump’s White House team, finally putting to rest one of the deepest mysteries of this administration: What the hell does he sound like?

Well, wonder no more:

Now we know. Jared Kushner—a manchild tasked with reforming the whole of government, and bringing peace to the Middle East—sounds exactly like I did when, nearly two decades ago, I stood before friends and family to deliver a wholly underwhelming Bar Mitzvah speech to congregation Beth Jacob.

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Congratulations, Jared! Today, you truly are a man!