Superman (Clark Kent) and Batman (Bruce Wayne) have been super-colleagues and co-leaders of the Justice League for the better part of the past 60 years. In that time, the men have gone from being reluctant members to two of the team's co-leaders to close friends with a begrudging respect for one another.
That complicated relationship is set to be the centerpiece to Warner Bros.'s upcoming Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice. While the movie's title implies that this iteration of the characters will be at odds with one another, the good people over at Wired have an alternate theory: what if the film were actually a romantic comedy?
Much in the same way that Star Wars: The Force Awakens becomes much more interesting when viewed as a love story between Finn and Poe, Batman v. Superman could just as easily be about an orphaned billionaire falling in love with an intrepid reporter.
Obviously, it isn't all that hard to inject homoromantic subtext to a minute-long trailer using clever editing, but the thing about Bruce and Clark that's really interesting is the fact their their bromance actually has some pretty solid roots in the comic books (and TV show.)
On more than one occasion, the couple (and they are a couple) have had their fair share of awkward interactions that, when looked at in a certain light, read as a textbook example of two people being destined to become the ultimate power couple.
"But what of Wonder Woman," you might ask yourself. Think about who Wonder Woman is, though, and where she comes from. Diana, princess of the Amazons, brought to life by her mother who molded her out of clay and magic, comes from an island of nothing but mystically-empowered women blessed by the Greek gods. To suggest that Wonder Woman, whose origins are steeped in kinky, queer, feminist ideology, would fall in love with a paragon of masculinity is preposterous.
Wonder Woman and Superman may have dated in the past, sure, but if we're being completely honest with ourselves, we all know that Wonder Woman would probably never find true happiness with a man. At best, Wonder Woman and Superman only work because they might be able to actually have sex without killing each other. At worse, their temporary romances are all shams designed to divert attention to the glaring truth: Wonder Woman's a lesbian and Bruce is meant to be with Clark.
Who better to relate to the last son of Krypton than the sole heir of the vast Wayne fortune? They both know pain, loss, and what it means to give their lives over to protecting humanity. Wonder Woman may naturally be able to withstand Clark's touch, but that's nothing that Bruce couldn't use his sizable financial endowment and team of R&D specialists to engineer his way around.
If Batman can fashion a bullet to shoot Superman, he can definitely find a way to use Kryptonite to get into those bright red briefs without getting hurt.
Carnal desires aside, Batman and Superman's is an intimacy grounded in friendship and love above all else. Don't believe me? Just look.
Batman v. Superman: Dawn of Justice hits theaters March 25th.