Fox & Friends

It is my unfortunate duty to inform you that the people of Fox & Friends are at it again.

Citing Senator Elizabeth Warren’s recent point that President Trump’s newly empathetic response to the Syrian civil war (namely: bombing shit) would be a little more convincing were it not for the White House’s vehement opposition to accepting refugees from that conflict, host Steve Doocy zeroed in on what he thinks is the real issue here. Paperwork.

“In other words,” Doocy insisted, “let us open our arms to the Syrian refugees, many of whom have absolutely no paperwork.”

Brilliant. The solution to the Syrian refugee crisis has been under our noses this whole time. If only there was a form to fill out. Then Trump wouldn’t look like an amoral hypocrite—he’d be an amoral man of consistency!

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Refugees from Syria already face a 20-step process to enter the United States, including United Nations, State Department, and Homeland security screenings. But, sure, throw some more paperwork in the mix.

“Right,” co-host Brian Kilmeade chimed in. “The problem is not the kids coming over. It’s the parents with the kids that we know nothing about.”

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Kids, good. Parents, bad. Paperwork, great!