Welcome to WHAT NOW, a morning round-up of the news/fresh horrors that await you today.

After opening his late night comedy show a week ago with a tearful account of his infant son’s recent medical battles and an appeal for Republicans not to gut the American health care system, Jimmy Kimmel returned to his show Monday with sharp words for his critics.

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Kimmel pointed to just a few headlines about his “obscene lies about kids and medical care” and calling him an “elitist creep” who should “shut up” about health care before going in.

“I can’t even count the number of times I’ve been called an ‘out of touch Hollywood elitist’ this week,” he began. “Which, I have to say, I kind of appreciate, because when I was a kid, we had to drink powdered milk because we couldn’t afford the liquid variety. Our orange juice came frozen out of a can, it would squeeze out.”

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So after that, my dream was to become an ‘out of touch Hollywood elitist,’ and I guess it came true,” Kimmel said to applause from the audience.

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He continued: “Anyway, I’d like to apologize for saying that children in America should have health care. That was insensitive—it was offensive—and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me.”

Brutal.

WHAT ELSE?

  • Daniel Ragsdale, the second-in-command at Immigration and Customs Enforcement, is taking a new job at the nation’s largest private prison company, The Daily Beast reports. Coincidentally, when ICE hunts down undocumented immigrants, it often throws them into private prisons while they await deportation. Gotta love those transferable skills!
  • Someone on Team Trump decided to delete a press release memorializing the then-candidate’s brazen call for a “total and complete shutdown of Muslims entering the United States” now that his words are being used against him in court.
  • Sally Yates, the deputy attorney general under President Obama, took no prisoners during her testimony before a Senate subcommittee on Monday afternoon that she warned the White House that Michael Flynn would be vulnerable to Russian blackmailing.

WHAAAAAT?

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It’s only 8 AM and we already have the self-own of the day, via alt-right media shithead Gavin McInnes.