Screenshot via Twitter/@JayseDavid

After video of a man being brutally dragged off an overbooked United flight from Louisville to Chicago on Sunday night tore across the internet, one New York Times columnist bravely set out to find the World’s Worst Take on the outrage.

That trailblazing soul was Ross Douthat, the conservative horndog and skinny-dipping enthusiast we all know and love. Get ready:

In the video, a man is brutally dragged off the airplane because no one volunteered to give up their seat as part of the major airlines’ calculated racket to maximize profits. It’s nice to know that, the next time something like this happens, everyday hero Ross Douthat will step up to graciously sacrifice his civil rights at the feet of Big Air Travel.

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As it happens, one of my Fusion colleagues, Rafi Schwartz, also recently traveled to Minnesota with a small child this past week. I asked him for his thoughts on Douthat’s take. Here’s what he had to say:

I traveled to Minnesota with a child whose diaper literally soaked out of his pants. It was much better than this video. Ross Douthat is a goober who can get fucked.