Tim P. Whitby/Getty Images, Rick Diamond/Getty Images

Wow, what a week for Calvin Harris and Taylor Swift. It really makes you wonder what they were doing 260 weeks ago.

Almost exactly five years ago today, a pretty much recognizable but not totally recognizable Calvin Harris released the music video for a song called "Feel So Close." It wasn't the first music video ever released, but it was a music video and he released it.

Taylor Swift was also alive at the time, unlike Gianni Versace, who died exactly 25 years ago—to the day!! Speaking of death, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part II was released in theaters on July 15, 2011. But now all I can think about is how Gianni Versace is dead. That's not very fun. I thought nostalgia was supposed to be fun.

Anyway, back to Calvin Harris. On July 14, 2011, the pre-swole Scottish DJ put down the box of Garnier Fructis Soft Mahogany Darkest Brown to upload his "Feel So Close" video to YouTube. I felt so close to someone that summer, but then he ghosted on me. Also, he was closeted and lived with his parents. Taylor Swift released the song "Sparks Fly" four days later.

I have absolutely no memory of this song, but apparently it peaked at no. 17 on the Billboard Hot 100 following the release of Taylor's Speak Now album the year prior. Calvin's "Feel So Close" charted even higher, reaching no. 12 on the Billboard singles chart. I was single in 2011. I am still single now. LMFAO had the no. 1 single in the country exactly five years ago today, which doesn't make me LMFAO. Is that irony? I don't remember. The nostalgia has made me feel dumb and sad.

Advertisement

Bad at filling out bios seeks same.