Photo illustration by Patrick Hogan. Photos: Shutterstock, Michael Vadon via Wikimedia Commons

Another day, another anonymously sourced story about the White House in disarray and a president who must be kept from watching too much television.

“It’s not like the White House doesn’t have a plan to fill his time productively but at the end of the day he’s in charge of his schedule,” an aide told The Politico. “He does not like being managed.”

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These are the things Trump likes to do, according to the piece:

  • Invite Matt Drudge to the White House
  • Watch television
  • Golf at Trump-owned golf courses
  • Eat at Trump-owned restaurants
  • Tweet
  • Watch more television

But more must get done! And so aides tell the president what is to be done, like cutting tax rates for his family and killing clean water regulations.

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Even so, the days are long and the president restless. His staff must fight to keep him occupied:

Advisers have tried to curtail Trump’s idle hours, hoping to prevent him from watching cable news or calling old friends and then tweeting about it. That only works during the workday, though—Trump’s evenings and weekends have remained largely his own.

It is no doubt a difficult task to occupy a president with the mind of a racist infant, but perhaps the White House staff has not been trying as hard as they claim to be trying to keep the president active and busy. There are many options on MeetUp.com for people with a lot of free time in the 20050 zip code.

Here is a week’s worth of suggested activities for President Trump that are not live-tweeting Fox News’ “The Five” or starting a war:

Thursday, April 27 at 7 pm: Talk about North Korea with other area hobbyists and beginners.

Friday, April 28 at 12 pm: Meet Richard Branson!

Saturday, April 29 at 9:15 am: Interview skills workshop for tips on how not to say things that will lead to your executive orders being overturned in court.

Sunday, April 30 at 9:30 am: Community yoga!

Monday, May 1 at 9:45: Lean In book group for people in career transitions.

Tuesday, May 2 at 11:00 am: Pie and coffee with the Golden Pals, a group of science enthusiasts over the age of 50.

Really, the Golden Pals seem to have a good thing going in general so let’s also flag these:

Wednesday, April 3 at 7:00 pm: Workshop on overcoming limiting beliefs (“Come with questions or situations you want to address, or just come with an open mind!”)

Someone is going to be a very busy boy!