HBO released a bunch of promotional stills for the upcoming sixth season of Game of Thrones on Thursday, and oh my god do they answer zero questions. Well, that's not entirely fair; there are some things we can glean from the photos before season six premieres on Apr. 24, like…
1. Arya is definitely blind.
2. Myrcella is definitely dead.
3. Puberty definitely happened.
4. And Sansa's definitely seen some shit since escaping from Winterfell.
5. Speaking of Sansa, she might share a storyline with Melisandre.
One of the commenters on ONTD noticed that the pattern on the barely visible cape in the bottom-left corner of Melisandre's still looks a lot like the pattern on the cape Sansa's wearing in all of her promotional images. If true, that would mean that the two characters will share the screen for at least one episode, if not the whole season.
Could Sansa be teaming up with Melisandre to seek revenge on every person who ever wronged her, raining a cleansing hellfire down upon the corrupt institutions of Westeros? I would be very into chaotic good Sansa. For more evidence of such an alliance, remember that the elder Stark daughter does have a documented history of resembling whomever she swears her allegiance to, and her middle-parted braid and billowing hooded cape do somewhat resemble a powder-blue palette swap of Melisandre's.
Off-topic, but why am I not more into Melisandre? I don't get it. She's a witch. She destroys patriarchal institutions. Her name is vaguely French. I should be so into her! And yet.
6. Missandei and Grey Worm have at least one scene together.
Thank you, HBO, for doing the bare minimum for two of Game of Thrones' most prominent characters of color.
7. Bran is standing…
8. Cersei is forced to endure the humbling, but necessary, Florence Henderson period of growing out her hair because she is truly the people's queen (mother).
9. Rickon's still off in New York working on his fashion line.
10. In a moment of clarity, Ramsay accesses his long-dormant empathetic abilities. Racked with guilt, he decides he must atone for the wrongs he hath wrought upon others.
Jk, this rapist can drink bleach.
11. And HBO has upped Daenerys' wig budget significantly.
*extremely CeCe Peniston voice* Finally.
Bad at filling out bios seeks same.